How to live with a depression and anxiety sufferer

As some of you know, my husband suffers from severe depression and anxiety, and it occurred to me it might be helpful to any one out there with a partner or child suffering from the same ailment to know how I manage at the second :)
First thing and

most important, they MUST take their medication, and it MUST be taken about the same time every day, and, obviously, if a dosage is missed, you DO NOT double up on the next dose, as this could be at worst fatal, at least, it could stuff them up big time! I get my husband to take his at brekky, but if it is forgotten, with these particular tablets I have a time gap that I can take advantage of that ends at lunch time, after that its too late and too bad. Second is to remember that no matter what they say and do, you are not the cause of their anger, anxiety, or fear. Occasionally I joke I am the bellows, but I am not the original flame. The anxiety and depressive attacks must be dealt with firm understanding, not giving into their every whim.
Third is to have a routine. This is more important for you than them, as if they are anything like my husband, they will HATE it!! My routine is:7am go for a walk before brekky to get some 'me time'. 8am brekky. Between brekky end and lunch I get my husband to keep busy and make himself useful (he doesn't work at the second as his infirmity prevents him without severe panic attacks), but the odd jobs he does around the house (eg. painting, building wardrobes, building decks, fixing cupboards, mucking around down in his shed, or whatever his little heart desires) gives him a sense of purpose, and and a feeling of fulfillment (which they may choose to ignore if the mood is upon them) that helps him to not get into depressive fits the usually result in talk of being worthless,  suicide and all horrible sorts of things. 11am is the children's lunch, and then their nap starts at 12pm, and we have ours and watch a movie while we eat, and have 'quality together time'. My husband then usually goes down for a nap himself, which normally isn't advisable, as sleep will feed the depression, but he also suffers from sleep apnea (but that's another story) From this point it sort of gets a wee bit mish mash, but then we pick up again at 5pm, where my husband will get the children through the bath while I get dinner on. 6pm is dinner time. 7.30pm is Bible reading and story time, followed by prayers and bed time, where my husband will get the children to recite memory verses to him, which he finds soothing, as well as them. Whenever all this ends, my husband and I will generally snuggle together on the lounge and watch another movie before I roll off to bed.
Lastly, that I can think of, is that most depression medication will put on weight that is very hard to control, and though this isn't the persons fault, it does add to the depressive state of mind. What I am currently trying to do is fit a regular walk for Michael into the routine, though we haven't quite managed it yet :(, a suggestion I could make is that if its convenient you could take out a gym membership for the person and simple drop them off and pick them up, this leaves them with the following options. They get home under their own steam if they do not want to work out. They could just sit down and wait till you return (which can be guarded against simply by filling in the staff what the goal is and what the circumstances are). OR they could do what they are supposed to do and work out!!
I haven't found it easy, and I've had to make a lot of compromises along the way, and I'm not done yet, but I feel that I have not waisted my time, and am a better person because of it. Also because he loves me my husband is trying very hard to be a good companion for me and so whenever we do have a barney, we never go to sleep mad at each other, and if the children ever get caught in the cross fire, which I'm sad to say occasionally happens, because little feet wander into trouble (!!), we always apologize to them profusely, and explain the situation as best as they can understand it, and we always let them see us make up, like with kisses and cuddles, and we let them see us spend time together to show that the feelings are real. Children read situations more clearly than words, so you must follow your words up with actions, and this is what they will understand.
Most people in our situation would be relying pretty heavily on a psychiatrist, but we haven't had that luxury, as the state of Victoria doesn't cater for long term depression on poor people, and after I think its six free visits, you either have to go to a crappy counsellor, or pay for a proper psychiatrist, which costs a lot of money which we don't have. We also didn't have the luxury of going to our paster about this either, as he did not have the time to spend with us, so we had to hash it out on our own with the loving encouragement from church friends and family.
Remember! Don't blame them! Its not their fault! But at the same time you can't let them get away with behaviour that is inappropriate. Find a way! It may make you uncomfortable and upset to begin with, because, if you're like us, it'll feel like your trying to teach and care for an ungrateful child who needs to set his swag up in time out because he doesn't deserve to leave it!!!!! But with diligence and patience, you will get there. I mean, hey, look at us, its taken us five years to get to this point, and we're not there yet!