Everything
always needs to be done at the same time! Why must things always happen
this way! Its enough to make you go bats!! Once again, preggers
hormones, but I'm hoping that writing it all out will slow my heart down
somewhat, because its too much to bear right now!
Okay, so we're still waiting to see what our neighbour is going to do with the fence. We have left it with him (80+ year old Cliff) because he likes the control and got anxious at the thought of us doing it all, so we handed it over to him, who accepted happily, but then he announced that Michael had to have the whole fence torn down in a week, so he could get his guys in to rebuild it before he went in for his opperation. Michael said 'wait! nocan do work under this sort of pressure! Anxiety and depression, etc' Cliff said okay.
Over the past four weeks we've waited for him to have his operation and see what he wanted to do next. Michael went and saw him a week ago, and he said that he wanted to get another quote, and ask him later. Michael went over again yesterday, and Cliff said I'm not going to do it till you finish clearing the front fence!!!!!!!! Argh! If he'd said that in the first place it would have been done!!! So today Michael cleared the front fence (it only took about half an hour or so, hence the frustration, lol!), and Michael is going to talk to him again in a couple of days.
The real stress for me here is that we have got our half of the fence money in the bank, just wsiting, and its slowly being eaten away by fees and 'emergency's', and the longer its there for, the less there is of it. Cliff is not being bad, just a wee bit ornery, ond we don't begrudge him that because he's a good neighbour and, quite frankly, he's od enough to have earnt the right to be a little ornery every now and then. Its just I'm conserbed that by the time he pulls his act into ear, there is going to be such a large gap we need to make up in our half of the money we'll have to borrow, beg or steal the difference, or ask him to wait again, which I just don't want to do!!
Next thing is that we've finally gotten the exteerior paint for the house.Its a lovely silvery minty colour, and looks great. The issues are as follows. He has to get the first coat up, putty any holes, wait 48 hours, then sand them back and paint the second coat. The weather is being a cow, rainy, then overcast, then sunny and hot, then rainy, Aurgh!!! Michael doesn't like standing on top of a ladder. He reckons it hurts his feet. But funding being what it is, we cannot afford to buy something more comfortable for him to stand on. Enter sulky husband.
The bare wood on the house is starting to warp, so there is an urgency here, and with his current feelings (and himfeeling sick again, coughing and headachy) and the other jobs needing to be done, he has to do it when he can, and he doesn't want to, he wants to either do it when he wants to or not at all. Aurgh!!!!!
The blessed lawn needs mowing again. I mowed it last week, or it wouldn't have been done, and I did so much work yesterday (I changed and made Hadassah's bed, dusted and vaccuumed, changed the linnen in the bathroom, and looked after the children. Michael was very little help, as he didn't feel well)that I made myself sick, and the thought of mowing again stresses me out, but Michael may not make time for it.
Tomorrow the children go to child care, but it will not be a relaxing day by any stretch of the imagination, as Michael has a dcotors appointment, then I have a doctors appointment, then Michael has a CRS appointment.
Chrisco is all here, but we discovered we chose the wrong food hamper, ad got less food than expected, and I hadn't gotten Phebe any presents at all!! Now I have to try and find the funds for that too.
We have no tomato's! I wanna tomato sandwich and we have no tomatos!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phebe want to wear uneez and not a nappy, but she also doesn't want to wee in the toilet.
Michael didn't save the bath water and put it into the washing machine for some reason only he knows, so I cannot do any washing today, which means more tomorrow, and I don't even have time to wash tomorrow!!!!!!
I keep pressing wrong buttons as I write!!!! My fingers are not cooperating so I'll add them to the list of grievences too!!!
None of my ebay things have arrived yet. I am giving them another week before I start to panic
Pant! Pant! Pant! Okay, thats most of it. Feeling excited still, but a wee bit more calm now.
Okay, so we're still waiting to see what our neighbour is going to do with the fence. We have left it with him (80+ year old Cliff) because he likes the control and got anxious at the thought of us doing it all, so we handed it over to him, who accepted happily, but then he announced that Michael had to have the whole fence torn down in a week, so he could get his guys in to rebuild it before he went in for his opperation. Michael said 'wait! nocan do work under this sort of pressure! Anxiety and depression, etc' Cliff said okay.
Over the past four weeks we've waited for him to have his operation and see what he wanted to do next. Michael went and saw him a week ago, and he said that he wanted to get another quote, and ask him later. Michael went over again yesterday, and Cliff said I'm not going to do it till you finish clearing the front fence!!!!!!!! Argh! If he'd said that in the first place it would have been done!!! So today Michael cleared the front fence (it only took about half an hour or so, hence the frustration, lol!), and Michael is going to talk to him again in a couple of days.
The real stress for me here is that we have got our half of the fence money in the bank, just wsiting, and its slowly being eaten away by fees and 'emergency's', and the longer its there for, the less there is of it. Cliff is not being bad, just a wee bit ornery, ond we don't begrudge him that because he's a good neighbour and, quite frankly, he's od enough to have earnt the right to be a little ornery every now and then. Its just I'm conserbed that by the time he pulls his act into ear, there is going to be such a large gap we need to make up in our half of the money we'll have to borrow, beg or steal the difference, or ask him to wait again, which I just don't want to do!!
Next thing is that we've finally gotten the exteerior paint for the house.Its a lovely silvery minty colour, and looks great. The issues are as follows. He has to get the first coat up, putty any holes, wait 48 hours, then sand them back and paint the second coat. The weather is being a cow, rainy, then overcast, then sunny and hot, then rainy, Aurgh!!! Michael doesn't like standing on top of a ladder. He reckons it hurts his feet. But funding being what it is, we cannot afford to buy something more comfortable for him to stand on. Enter sulky husband.
The bare wood on the house is starting to warp, so there is an urgency here, and with his current feelings (and himfeeling sick again, coughing and headachy) and the other jobs needing to be done, he has to do it when he can, and he doesn't want to, he wants to either do it when he wants to or not at all. Aurgh!!!!!
The blessed lawn needs mowing again. I mowed it last week, or it wouldn't have been done, and I did so much work yesterday (I changed and made Hadassah's bed, dusted and vaccuumed, changed the linnen in the bathroom, and looked after the children. Michael was very little help, as he didn't feel well)that I made myself sick, and the thought of mowing again stresses me out, but Michael may not make time for it.
Tomorrow the children go to child care, but it will not be a relaxing day by any stretch of the imagination, as Michael has a dcotors appointment, then I have a doctors appointment, then Michael has a CRS appointment.
Chrisco is all here, but we discovered we chose the wrong food hamper, ad got less food than expected, and I hadn't gotten Phebe any presents at all!! Now I have to try and find the funds for that too.
We have no tomato's! I wanna tomato sandwich and we have no tomatos!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phebe want to wear uneez and not a nappy, but she also doesn't want to wee in the toilet.
Michael didn't save the bath water and put it into the washing machine for some reason only he knows, so I cannot do any washing today, which means more tomorrow, and I don't even have time to wash tomorrow!!!!!!
I keep pressing wrong buttons as I write!!!! My fingers are not cooperating so I'll add them to the list of grievences too!!!
None of my ebay things have arrived yet. I am giving them another week before I start to panic
Pant! Pant! Pant! Okay, thats most of it. Feeling excited still, but a wee bit more calm now.
I know Michael has no idea what I'm
feeling, but not because he doesn't know what this sort of anxiety feels
like, but because its me who's feeling it.
We had a huge fight this morning, over him thinking the worst of my actions, calling me names, and telling me what I'm thinking, and I'm just too emotionally distraught at the moment to defend myself, so I acknowledged it all instead, which he didn't like either, and proceeded to change his tune to its for your own good, I only care about you, and I don't want you to work to hard, when the only reason I was doing the extra (like the lawn mowing for instance yesterday) was because he has been complaining of nt feeling well, and he's also got a lot on his plate right now. I can't cope with that right now, and I can't escape him when he gets like this, alternating between yelling at me, being condecending, and crying at me. Its almost enough to make me think of doing very bad things to myself , just to get him to lay off, only I don't want to hurt the baby.
I feel Michael is too proud to ask this of the church right now because there is a lot of other stuff going on there at the moment.
As for all the other stuff, well, I've tried to write it as it is, not how I feel about it, because on a normal day I can handle this no sweat, but when my mind starts to run a mile a minute in a negative circle I don't cope so well, and I wanted to see if writing it all down would distract me, because I don't want to inadvertantly take it out on the children, or Michael (even if I feel he deserves it, lol!), and it did help!
There isn't anything we can do about this, and there is no time limits, we'd just like it to be organised before we leave, but hey, its not the end of the world if it isn't (though sometimes you'll hear me yell, 'IT IS! IT IS! IT IS! lol).
We had a huge fight this morning, over him thinking the worst of my actions, calling me names, and telling me what I'm thinking, and I'm just too emotionally distraught at the moment to defend myself, so I acknowledged it all instead, which he didn't like either, and proceeded to change his tune to its for your own good, I only care about you, and I don't want you to work to hard, when the only reason I was doing the extra (like the lawn mowing for instance yesterday) was because he has been complaining of nt feeling well, and he's also got a lot on his plate right now. I can't cope with that right now, and I can't escape him when he gets like this, alternating between yelling at me, being condecending, and crying at me. Its almost enough to make me think of doing very bad things to myself , just to get him to lay off, only I don't want to hurt the baby.
I feel Michael is too proud to ask this of the church right now because there is a lot of other stuff going on there at the moment.
As for all the other stuff, well, I've tried to write it as it is, not how I feel about it, because on a normal day I can handle this no sweat, but when my mind starts to run a mile a minute in a negative circle I don't cope so well, and I wanted to see if writing it all down would distract me, because I don't want to inadvertantly take it out on the children, or Michael (even if I feel he deserves it, lol!), and it did help!
There isn't anything we can do about this, and there is no time limits, we'd just like it to be organised before we leave, but hey, its not the end of the world if it isn't (though sometimes you'll hear me yell, 'IT IS! IT IS! IT IS! lol).
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